Thursday, April 26, 2007

roast beef curtains

after reading angela's eat and tell about the whopper jr. and a recent discussion of arby's with a minnesotan friend of mine, i got to thinking. while i love a whopper, burger king's fries are a travesty. (i harbor a secret love of chicken fries, and sometimes flexcar to ballard when luke is at work to have some, with honey mustard, while publicly denouncing the bk advertisements that urge you to substitute the chicken for potato fries.) my perfect fast-food meal is arby's. it brings back memories of mom working late; dad would get the two-times the 5 for $5 sandwiches and we'd eat arby's for a week. i was oddly repulsed by the iridescent, slightly green-tinge of the meat(from the slicer, says my dad). the sweet, wonder bread bun would be steamy warm, soft and soaking with roast beef juice by the time we opened them at home.
when i was old enough to my own ordering, i tried the GIANT (double the meat), SUPER (tomatoes, lettuce, special sauce), Beef & Cheddar (onion bun, cheez sauce), but i always came back to that paragon of beef, the Regular. The double messes up the perfect meat to bread ratio. The super is superfluous. and cheez sauce? need i explain?
2 Regulars (2 packets of horsey, 1 of bbq sauce for each) and curly fries (ketchup and horsey sauce to dip). a medium orange soda; i've discovered orange soda is the only pairing for arby's and subway.
and if you're in the money and not hating your thighs, a small jamocha shake and a coke. You cannot order the shake without the coke. Shakes especially, and ice cream, too, require a coca-cola palate cleanser. it'd be like ordering a Regular and no curly fries.
the biggest crime of all, the closest arby's has no drive-thru.

2 comments:

Lily said...

Wow, it's like you're reading my diary about my love of Arby's. I recently came across a website that I think will help you deepen your relationship with Arby's(pay it forward if you know someone who might share our inquisitive nature)
http://www.madsci.org/posts/archives/2001-09/1001732824.Ch.r.html

Surly Gourmand said...

I disagree with your assessment of Arby's, AKA "Gangrene AIDS Holocaust on a bun."

Sincerely,

Your Friend the Surly Motherfucking Gourmand